Thursday, July 13, 2006

Internet Romance

So I finally land at the internet romance. It is not an exciting topic, not even sure why I feel obligated to post it, but who am I to decide what society needs or does not need? For this reason I post it.

Throughout the ages, the question that poets, philosophers, and ordinary everyday people have found themselves asking is what is love. I am not going to discuss what love is as that may be the first stone cast in a long debate. Rather I will say that most, not everyone, is searching for love. They search in hopes of having that special feeling inside, of having someone to lean on, or to live out their dreams of a family in a white pickett fence. Why then, are we forced to see so many people in search of love on the internet. The internet that allows its users a vast amount of power. Off of the internet the nerd can become the jock, and the macho man can be sensitive. We know that competition causes men/women to be a different type of person for the one they show interest in, so what makes us think that it is not different on the internet where it is difficult to catch anyone on their lies.

Ok so most people turn to the internet on a notion of desperation. They feel they have no luck with love in the real world and hope out of the large amount of the people on the internet searching for love they will find their one true love. I will not say it is impossible, but I will say it is improbable. The suitors are given an incentive to cheat. The member profiles tell them all the likes dislikes and any other information that the user had placed. This information was meant to filter out any bad apples, but it is easily used for the opposite purpose. Now instead of finding soul mates we find we just made it easier to be used.

Ok so I am being a little harsh its not that bad. The competitive market may weed out the bad apples but examing the numbers there are surely going to be a few bad apples. The internet increases the amount that fit your preferences. In order to succeed online is to have a rules built or a strict set of preferences that disables most suitors from fitting in. This would decrease the number of suitors but may also discourage possible good apples.

Internet dating is probably more difficult than meeting the love of your life in real life, but still many try. Instead of dating websites they begin to chat in chat rooms. Looking for email buddies or even just friends, but just like any initial meeting with anyone feelings easily grow. Most people are addicted to that first feeling when you meet someone that you connect with so well, but online you miss out on something important. You miss out on the chemistry, the mixture of pheromones, and the importance of body language.

The highlight of internet dating? Learning someone's personality. Finding that personality that fits you perfectly. Anyone will tell you that personality is important in a relationship, but the differences between the real world and the internet relies on time. On the internet, when chatting you are giving a window or an amount of time to respond. This time gives you a chance to think through each thought allowing the quietest person in the real world to be the loudest in the internet. With this thought we find we can include anonymous bloggers. Their voice is heard but their faces, body language remain unseen. The blogger's personality is all that exists and yet the blogger's readers begin to build a sort of admiration. This admiration causes them to ask out the anonymous blogger; all from just their personality. Do the readers with crushes not have their own preferences or do their preferences only depict a type of personality. What happens when they should meet in person? Would that not change everything or would that only strengthen the relationship? Perhaps their is no chemistry and in fact it was only a friendship in the making.

I would think that internet romance is doomed from the beginning. Again it is not impossible since the amount of people on the net is substantial, so someone has to make it. But they must be a small percentage. Of course in my speaking of internet romance I have left out some important points. The points were left out because I only wanted to speak about an Internet Romance, yet what if they found one another on the internet and moved to speaking on the phone? This would then not be an internet relationship but one over the phone. A relationship over the phone is a long distance relationship, and these have a greater percentage of success than internet relationships. But we shall leave that for another post perhaps. Most likely not because I am tired of writing on relationships. In any case, I wish anyone good luck on their hunt for love. I apologize for my negative words towards online romance and wish to leave it on a good note; a soft poem's first stanza I had read once by the author of a romantic epic:

She walks in beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that's best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes:
Thus mellow'd to that tender light
Which heaven to gaudy day denies.

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